I want to fly once again..

Just wanna take this short time to write this entry.. to vent my frustration, and also just to write.. I hate making models.. seriously.. i hate it cause simply.. i lack the patience. Model making, i found out after making just a various.. takes lots and lots of patience and focus also. Its not that i have no focus.. but i get sick after doing it after a few hours.. and i am a person who likes things to be fast and quick and efficent.. get in, get out, mission complete.. model making takes hours and hours.. damm it.. and sadly to say.. after 2.05 years in architecture course.. i still cant draw straight lines.. thats bad really.. i cant cause in my sec sch i took art.. and lines were suppose to be curvy and expressive.. unless design and tech, (D and T).. so thus.. my building form always like to be free and get out from the restrains of the society.. but sadly, its hard.

I respect those people who have the patience to do models, one person like deyang.. damm man, i really salute him. Hours and hours he put into his model.. wow.. the end product is amazing.. which i cant. The only thing i love and crave is 3d rendering.. cause seriously i project my mind like a 3d rendering engine.. if i can see a building, its is drawn in 3d, and thus to put it down on comp will be easy task.. Drawing it also possible.. just not pls pls, model making.

Well.. i think i iwll get a C or D this year again.. well, looking on the bright side, at least i got a B for my interim;) hee, the first B in my 2 years of architecture shit..!!;p so ya.. let me get a C or D, i am alrite..

Seriously, i miss the times when i can run again.. I love running.. its like flying, the faster you run, the faster your worries get thrown behind.. and when you run, all you think is completing the run.. nothing else. The world stops.. and there were times i felt like i was cutting thru the wind.. when there was no fatigue when i run.. its just so relaxed.. no matter how far you run..

Running is all about the passion.. and i hate it when i am stuck to my comp and table doing my goddamm project.. its like a chain on me.. I hate it when i cant be free.. and it makes me to a very bad mood.. Bah.. i hate the ordinary life.. the mudane shitty life.. yucks,i dont wanna it to be a disease to me.. 8 to 5, go home, sleep, 8 to 5.. wtf.. i hate this kind of shit..

I rather be a diver, or something else special.. doing what my passion is.. even if you tell me to leopard crawl in shitty mud for hours, i will gladly do it. Its just that.. I HATE BEING TIED DOWN. in anything in life.. ya, ANYTHING. even in relationships.. i hate commitments.. i hate being a burden to people.. well, maybe thats why i dont wanna get married.. its a hassle and boring thing of life. I rather die alone.. then leaving a wife and kid behind..

Anyway, got to go back to be chained to my comp.. project and project.. Thank God i arent doing this shit no more next year... well, it will be different shit next year..